Valentine's Day is one of those tricky celebrations where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you love it, you're buying into a holiday created to sell greeting cards, bad bouquets, and shoddy love-themed stuffed animals. And if you're opposed to it, you're considered lonely and single and have clearly never had a valentine.

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Valentine’s Day is one of those tricky celebrations where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you love it, you’re buying into a holiday created to sell greeting cards, bad bouquets, and shoddy love-themed stuffed animals. And if you’re opposed to it, you’re considered lonely and single and have clearly never had a valentine.

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I just filmed a movie with my boyfriend, an indie film called 'Conception.' And it's kind of like an R-rated version of 'Valentine's Day.' So it's like all about eight couples, and me and my boyfriend play one of them together. And that was a lot of fun.

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I just filmed a movie with my boyfriend, an indie film called ‘Conception.’ And it’s kind of like an R-rated version of ‘Valentine’s Day.’ So it’s like all about eight couples, and me and my boyfriend play one of them together. And that was a lot of fun.

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Mother's Day is a torment if your mother is dead. Valentine's Day is a torment if you don't got one. And at some point in our lives, we will be tormented by Valentine's Day even if we're relatively lucky in love.

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Mother’s Day is a torment if your mother is dead. Valentine’s Day is a torment if you don’t got one. And at some point in our lives, we will be tormented by Valentine’s Day even if we’re relatively lucky in love.

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I'm bad on Valentine's Day, but even worse on Christmas. I go shopping at nine o'clock on December 24th every year. Nobody else is there. I'm in Toys'R'Us all by myself. I get there five minutes before closing.

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I’m bad on Valentine’s Day, but even worse on Christmas. I go shopping at nine o’clock on December 24th every year. Nobody else is there. I’m in Toys’R’Us all by myself. I get there five minutes before closing.

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