The Conjuring (2013)

The Conjuring (2013)
The Conjuring (2013)

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Before there was Amityville, there was Harrisville. The Conjuring tells the horrifying true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren, world renowned paranormal investigators, who were called to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse. Forced to confront a powerful demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most terrifying case of their lives. Oscar® nominee Vera Farmiga (The Departed) and Golden Globe nominee Patrick Wilson (Insidious) play the investigators while Golden Globe nominee Ron Livingston (Band of Brothers) and Emmy® nominee Lili Taylor (Six Feet Under) play the Perron family plagued by sinister spirits in this dark chiller from the writers of The Reaping and the creator of the Saw films.

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Pig

Pig
Pig

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A truffle hunter who lives alone in the Oregonian wilderness must return to his past in Portland in search of his beloved foraging pig after she is kidnapped.

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Idiocracy

Idiocracy
Idiocracy

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From Mike Judge, one of the creative minds behind Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, and Office Space, comes an outrageous sci-fi comedy that’ll make you think twice about the future of mankind. Meet Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson). He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. But when a government hibernation experiment goes awry, Bowers awakens in the year 2505 to find a society so dumbed-down by mass commercialism and mindless TV programming that he’s become the smartest guy on the planet. Now it’s up to an average Joe to get human evolution back on track! Filled with razor-sharp sarcasm and outrageous sight gags, Idiocracy will make you laugh out loud whether you’re an absolute genius or a complete idiot!

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Waiting To Exhale

Waiting To Exhale
Waiting To Exhale

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Whitney Houston and Angela Bassett star in this funny and touching film about four women who find strength through their rare and special relationship. Savannah, Bernadine, Robin and Gloria are all searching for the Real Thing: true love. Bernadine thought she had it, until her husband left her for another woman. Savannah and Robin are successful in business but their love lives are bankrupt. And divorcee Gloria is getting back in the game by flirting with her new, very eligible neighbor. Based on Terry McMillan’s best-selling novel, and featuring the #1 smash hit “Exhale (Shoop Shoop),” “Waiting to Exhale” is the film you and your friends have been waiting for!

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Seabiscuit

Seabiscuit
Seabiscuit

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True story of the undersized Depression-era racehorse whose victories lifted not only the spirits of the team behind it but also those of the nation as well.

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The Dukes Of Hazzard

The Dukes Of Hazzard
The Dukes Of Hazzard

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Follow the rollicking adventures of Bo (Seann William Scott – American Pie films) and Luke Duke (Johnny Knoxville – Jackass: The Movie), two “good old boy” country cousins with NASCAR dreams, who, with the help of their eye-catching cousin Daisy (Jessica Simpson – “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica”) and moonshine-running Uncle Jesse (singer Willie Nelson – Wag the Dog), try to save the family farm from being destroyed by Hazzard County’s corrupt commissioner, Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds – Boogie Nights). Their efforts find the Duke boys constantly eluding the authorities in the “General Lee,” their classic 1969 Dodge Charger that keeps them one step ahead of dim-witted Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane (M.C. Gainey – Sideways).

All roads lead to fun with The Dukes Of Hazzard!

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Top Secret!

Top Secret!
Top Secret!

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The second of Zucker-Abraham-Zucker’s theatrical-feature spoofs (Airplane was the first, discounting the patchwork Kentucky Fried Movie), Top Secret! lampoons practically every film genre. Specifically, however, this is a hybrid of an “Elvis” movie and a World War II “underground resistance” thriller. In his film debut, Val Kilmer plays Nick Rivers, a Presley-like American rock idol sent behind the Iron Curtain on a goodwill tour. Before long, he is involved in a complex espionage scheme thanks to beautiful Lucy Gutteridge, the daughter of a scientist (Michael Gough) held captive by the Communists. Also essential to the action is flamboyant resistance leader Christopher Villiers, who behaves like Victor Mature in Betrayed (1954) and talks like James Mason. Adhering to Z-A-Z’s cheerful disregard for people, places and events, the East Germans are depicted as Nazis, while the Underground is comprised of Frenchmen. The plot is mainly an excuse for the Z-A-Z team’s fondness for joke-a-minute lampoonery, skewering cinematic targets ranging from The Blue Lagoon (1980) to The Wizard of Oz (1939). As in Z-A-Z’s other efforts, Top Secret! scores its biggest yocks when invoking cliches that we never realized were cliches-and falls on its face whenever attempting a too-obvious gag (the biggest clinker: that pigeon statue in the park). Everyone has his or her favorite bits in this film: our faves include the resistance fighter named Deja Vu (“Haven’t we met somewhere before?”), Kilmer’s horrible nightmare while being tortured (he arrives too late to take final exams), the army-booted cow, the sensitive Pinto, and the East German National Anthem, sung to the tune of the Shorewood (Wisconsin) High School marching song. But let’s say no more: comedy of this nature is designed to be seen, not written or read about.

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Hard Rain

Hard Rain
Hard Rain

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A Weather forecast: rain. Action forecast: Hard Rain, the torrential, excitement-swept thriller featuring a screenplay from the writer of Speed and the on-screen talents of Morgan Freeman (Deep Impact), Christian Slater (Broken Arrow), Randy Quaid (Independence Day) and Minnie Driver (Good Will Hunting). The setting is the food-ravaged, evacuated town of Huntingburg, where armored car driver Tom (Slater) is in deep danger. A gang of thieves (led by Freeman) figures the flood is its chance to heist the $3 million Tom’s transporting from local banks. But there’s one thing the gun-carrying criminals don’t count on Tom. Come hell, high water or both, he’s determined to deliver the money entrusted to him. But before he does, he’ll have to survive a relentless pursuit filled with close calls, ever-rising waters, uncertain loyalties and heart-stopping heroics.

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The Naked Gun 33 ⅓: The Final Insult

The Naked Gun 33 ⅓: The Final Insult
The Naked Gun 33 ⅓: The Final Insult

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The further misadventures of bumbling Los Angeles police Lieutenant Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) are chronicled in this third installment in the popular Naked Gun comedy series. This by-the-numbers entry begins with Drebin as a happily retired house-husband called back into action when an evil terrorist organization threatens Los Angeles.

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Major League

Major League
Major League

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She’s beautiful, smart, goal-oriented, and she just inherited the Cleveland Indians. Unfortunately, she wants to move the franchise to Miami, and a losing season is her only ticket to Florida. So she signs the wildest gang of screwballs that ever spit tobacco. They’re handsome, but they’re hopeless! Her catcher (Tom Berenger) is a washed-up womanizer who struck out in life. Her ace pitcher (Charlie Sheen) is a punked-out crazy who struck out with the law. And her third baseman (L.A. Law’s Corbin Bernsen) is more concerned fielding endorsements than grounders. Throw in a busload of other misfits and you’ve got yourself a hilarious line-up that’s destined for disaster! Or is it?

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