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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
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Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’
Steven Wright
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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
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